He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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