Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
