i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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