I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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