508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My dick has a subreddit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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