How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
