i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
