Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
