Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
