roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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