Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
