Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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