Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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