I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We left an ass print on the piano.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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