Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
