If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
