She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
