What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
