i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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