You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
