You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
