i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
