I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
