i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
