I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
