I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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