I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
