Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
