I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
