I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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