It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
