I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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