I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
