My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it's great music for shaving your balls
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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