have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
