Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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