You're my little dorito
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
