then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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