So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I wear drunk well.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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