Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
