Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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