i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
