So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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