who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can I color on your dick again?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You ate ashes out of my bong
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
