i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
