im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I've blown a few things in my day
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
