what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize