Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
