am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
