i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
