I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
