Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Are these your boobs on my camera?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
