Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you never un-have a 4some
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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