do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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