I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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