Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize