we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We're too hungover to prance.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
