im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
