sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize