I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
